to0tie frutie

a lot of change

2007-11-15T19:31:00.000-08:00

okay where do i start?? a lot of things have changed since the last time i posted in here. i mean a lot. its been a year since i have posted anything. well first things first, my relationship of 1.5 years is over and done with. i mean very done. i was engaged and almost pregnant. and he broke up with me over something stupid which was dumb. also i've been talkin to a couple of guys lately, but nothing good has turned up yet. so idk yet. til later

New Start

2006-06-09T12:10:00.000-07:00

I just got out of a long and hard relationship of 1 year and 6 months. I know that isn't long, but that is long to me because I never had a relationship for that long of a time. Other then that I am just living the single life and really not going nothing except playing the field and dating other guys andtaking care of my son TAI. who is so adorable....

hardly ever update

2006-05-01T14:27:00.000-07:00

i hardly ever update this blog anymore...
i'm either at school or taking care of my son.....now i have a part-time job working as an receptionist and it pays 9.50/hr....its not a lot but it works for now...and also i get as much hours as i need and they are really flexible with your school or anything. the people here are great nothing to complain about....and right now just school and working....if you want to know more visit my myspace page......cause that has a lot more info on me..other than that take care...

a new day

2005-12-23T16:11:00.000-08:00

well, I have survived to get past the first semester of college and it was somewhat tough. But now after being in college for the first semester, everything has gotten a lot easier now. I've past my first semester with a 3.0 gpa, which is pretty good I guess. Other then that my baby boy is 6 months now and he is 17 lbs. and 10 oz. which is a good size for his weight. I don't plan on changing my layout for the blogspot. Cause I don't have a computer to do that yet. Other than that its just the daily usual. Take care and god bless.

College bound....

2005-08-23T14:40:00.000-07:00

Man, I've been in college for like almost 2 weeks and it is crazy. I have so much homework and like its too heckic. Plus since my baby boy is in daycare...and I want to see him all the time even though he is such a little dorkie. Other then that its been a very long time since I have updated this blogger. Hopefully it won't be too long until the next one. Cause right now I am writing before I go to class, and this is the last class of the day. Then I can go home and just relaxed..then I got to go and pick up my boyfriend at work and yes it is crazy. but til laters....

Pregnancy

2004-12-22T16:58:00.000-08:00

boy...things have certainly changed in the last two months. i mean it isn't the same as it use to be. but i mean right now i am currently 3 months pregnant. and i have no boyfriend what so ever. and i am dating someone right now. but i am just unsure if i want to be in a relationship with this person. because he is very nice and sweet, and also caring, hrrmmm not a lot of guys like that in the world huh?? but i am just taking my time in getting to know him. because i somewhat do not believe that he is like that. i mean. so nice all the time. and he says this is how i am all the time. but i said i have to see for myself. well, i won't know the sex of the baby until feb. 05. and until then i just got to take care of myself pretty much. but the more i hangout with him. the more i like him and feel more comfortable around him. because before i wasn't so into him as i am now. which is somewhat strange. but i mean we've been hanging out for the pass two days. and today he wanted to know if i wanted to go over his house and i was like not today. cause i don't want to see him so much in the beginning cause that will just somewhat kill it. and i will somewhat overstay my welcome at his house. but i mean he told me over and over that he wouldn't leave and would try as hard as possible to be with me. and also what is great is that he wants to help me with my newborn that is on the way. and he was telling me that his grandma could watch the baby when i was at work and i was like yea that is if we are together at that time. but i mean he wants to be the father for this baby but i was like oh boy. haha. but i mean it is great that i met someone that really cares about me and wants to be with me. and i sometimes ask myself boy am i ready to stay up late and stuff?? but he is so interested in listening to me and hearing different things avout pregnancy that he didn't hear from his sister.

what makes me different?
what makes me so special?

long time no write in here

2004-10-27T18:15:00.000-07:00

man, i think it has been like a super duper long time since i ever wrote my feelings down in here. i mean ever since the last time i wrote in here, a whole bunch of stuff has been happening like. me and shaun not together no more. and i had mad love for him. but he playing games. and then i got a new job and now i am working over there. and then like i started going to the club more and also talking to guys now. hrmm...i mean i don't need no guy to keep me happy. i mean for real. and like there is this one guy name Jr who loves me..cause he says it was love at first sight. hrmm. that i don't understand cause i feel i am not the person for him to be liking of course. but man i just need to concentrate on me and no one else. so i will be able to get my car. and then go to school. and then just do my own shizz. yup.
well, i haven't made no layouts recently. and i've been busy and doing all this layout stuff for people and all that other stuff. i pretty much just dropped it. cause it is just waste of time. and like i ain't young no more. and i got stuff to do. so my website i am not messing with no more. and like my createblog.com no more either. oh well, life changes. til next time. take care

Newly 18

2004-10-04T21:34:00.000-07:00

man...i just turned 18 and boy it feels like being pretty much 17...i mean it doesn't even feel different....i still haven't received my birthday present from my boyfriend yet...i mean what the hell is he getting me that takes so long??....make me wonder sometimes i swear....but i work tomorrow at 5pm to 10pm..and i also work on wedensday, thursday, and then friday, and finally saturday...but imma call in family emergency on friday so i can go out and go to the club....cause i mean....they hired new people and its like i mean...my hours got cut back...and like i don't freakin know....so this week imma work like 16 hours...and then like the next week idk....what the hell my hours will be....but everything between me and shaun is going...making 1 month is coming along very fast....but tonight i got to go make a couple of phone calls....and stuff....and now i got to prepare for my best friend stephanie to come down here and live with me...and like man it is just crazy...i hope that me and shaun will still be together when that time comes....i really do hope so...but til laters...imma write what happens on saturday...and like i got to call up my co-workers and see what is going on....cause i got to get all of them together...of course...and maybe my bf might come....we have to see...cause he is acting childish right now about this...til laters

long time

2004-09-27T00:38:00.000-07:00

man i haven't wrote on blogger for a while now.
i guess the whole ordeal with work and going out a lot has finally caught up to me. but right now i am tired and exhausted and i am just chilling. i made this new layout for my best friend stephanie who is going to use it for xanga. but i thought i put it on blogger so she will be able to preview it. and she can tell me if she likes it or not. but my design skills hasn't been so sharp lately. since i haven't been on the computer as much. and also its like i forget what tool is what too. and then that is how i know that i need to start refreshing my memory about these two art programs i use. which is adobe and paintshop. but other then that, pretty much shaun and me are still together. and everything is going good between us. and also MY 18TH BIRTHDAY is around the corner. i turn 18 on OCTOBER 3RD. isn't that tight. man boy does it feel good to turn 18 and like be able to do whatever i want. but the other thing that sucks is that i have to pay $150 rent. errr...and then like i got to get a different cellphone plan and then i got to go to the eye doctors. to get my contacts for my eyes. but hopefully i will make the 3 month probation. and then i will get health coverage from albertsons. but other then that everything has been cool.

there is also one thing that is on my mind right now. and i think i might be pregnant. but i am not so sure. cause like i was feeling lightheaded today. and also i felt somewhat sick. but i think it might be that i am coming close to getting my period. i think that might be that reason. but i got to wait until next week to figure out if i am pregnant or not. but if i am then i will have to keep it. but then i have to figure out who i am going to live with cause my dad isn't going to tolerate me being pregnant and in his house. so i hope that i am not pregnant. but i will have to see. cause if i am then i got 9 months to work and also save money so that i can get a car. and then like if i am pregnant shaun's mom will be happier then ever. and like she told me that if my dad kicked me out i could go and stay with them. and then like she would take care of the kid but then also my stepmom wants to take care of the baby too so idk who going to be watching the baby. but all i know is that i got 1 more week to figure out if i am pregnant or not. but i think i am not pregnant. and then again shaun thinks i am pregnant. boy. i got to see.

well, onto other news. sunday is a sucky day to work forreal haha i mean like it just sucks. and also like things just go to slow when you work on a sunday. but i work on monday and i got tuesday off. but i also hope that stephanie is able to give me off on the 8th and 9th of october so i can go out and go clubbing. and also i asked for the 3rd off too cause it is my 18th birthday. well, i got to see what the schedule for next week is going to look like. cause it gets printed on friday of this week.

next. i am throwing a kickback on the 9th of october at my exs- allen's house in woodland, cali. and then like on the 8th. me and a couple of peoples from my work and allen and all his friends are going to the club. the club we probably go to is the rage or detour or empire. me not sure right now. but i just want everyone to have fun on that night. but i think we might end up going to vacaville, ca. to go to the club called detour. but mostly there is going to be a lot of people at the kickback. cause we are going to be drinking and stuff. i might end up spending the night at allen's house again. and i hope my bf goes to the kickback. and also that he is able to sleepover too. but i am sad that he can come with me to the club when i go. cause he doesn't turn 18 until january 8th. which sucks.

but til laters. thats simple what is happening with me right now.

idk what will happen

2004-09-16T22:59:00.000-07:00

well basically i haven't updated this in a while. and i am still using the same skin from before. i have taken a liking to this skin for some reason. but never mind with that. well today i got paid and damn it felt good to have money in my pocket. and also things between me and shaun is not going so good. i mean like we are starting to have friction because we saee each other 24/7. which is way too much to be seeing each other. but i mean today me and shaun had a argument and it is the worst yet. i mean for real. and like we both argreed on toning it down and pretty much not seeing each other as much. also shaun sat there and tells me that "we ain't breaking up!!" and i was like dang why you got to say it with so much meaning?? and he was like i am just saying. but i mean when i was talking to his cousin monica she told me that he is afraid that we will break up because we are seeing each other too much. and i was like damn. man for real. but i have no intention of breaking up with him at all. cuz he is the person that i want to be with and also like i can't really picture myself with anyone else. i mean my dad thinks that this is going to come and go. but this one isn't at all. i care a lot about shaun. and the way i feel about him is something that i haven't felt for no one at all. but other then that...
i got my phone turned back on. i paid the bill today. and um i got some money saved up in my bank account now. so basically i can't be going no where at all. just go to work and come home thats all. no more other place. boy i got to do this for like 2 months or so. and then after i can go buy a car....
and other then that i am hella starting to get tired for real. but i feel that me and shaun might end up having a baby pretty soon. or sooner then anyone thinks. but i need to have a car first before i have any kids at all. haha. but if me and shaun were to have kids. they would be the cutest things ever. haha. but that imma hold off on or until it comes then we make up our minds...
till laters haha

.....

2004-08-30T23:48:00.000-07:00

basically...things has been better me and marcus are no longer together no more. and then now i got MYSPACE. the better way to meet people i think. i mean my best girlfriend met a lot of guys off of myspace. but i got a date on friday with this guy named allen. we cool and all i mean he's hella tight. well what i am trying to say is that he is into everything that i am into. which i find that the most most like shocking. but its all good. he is very nice, and i can't wait to kick it with him on friday and hangout with him. hehe for real. but albertsons hasn't given me a call back yet. so i am going to call him tomorrow and see if they got the results back from the drug test. but i mean dang they take so long to get the results back i mean for real. well, imma call them. but other then that i went to the cal expo fair. and had a blast. well til laters. haha i don't have much to talk about.

well...

2004-08-24T19:10:00.000-07:00

well lets see...i'm still talking to marcus...me and him are still going out....and stuff and then like jay is coming here like next week of course....damn...haha...but idk i mean i am starting to feel for marcus...but i know marcus can't put up with me like jay does...i mean my attitude, my mood swings, everything...jay can handle it all...but then marcus is like i ain't dealing with that shit....so imma just use marcus for now...and then later just dump him....i mean he obivious isn't the one for me...and i know jay is the one for me anyways....but i hate not being laid or anything DAMN...but til next time....laters...imma go make more layouts...

bored..

2004-08-21T00:17:00.000-07:00

man...i swear when i looked at the counter to see how many pplz viewed my page...i was like damn...i mean yesterday it was at 197 and then today it was at 380...sheesh haha talk about a lot of ppls be doing the whole blogger thing for real...but other then that i got through complete the Lloyd layout for xanga and also it will be available for blogger too...haha and imma change my Ashanti skin to Lloyd....but other then that i hope everyone has had a good week and that everyone takes care of themselves....but until later...peace out....hehe...

pretty good

2004-08-18T17:55:00.000-07:00

i am feeling pretty good today...i got to see my bf today during the morning...and it was all good... then he left to pretty much hangout with cousins....and then um let's see i hardly did any layouts lately...due to the point that i was either bored or idk....but i am still waiting on Albertsons to call me back about the whole DRUG TEST thing....i hope they call me tomorrow or something....err...i want to work so bad...but anyways i got to get ready to go to Best Buy to go look for another tv.....cuz my tv is the one in use right now...and this one is going up stairs in my room after my dad buys another one....til laters....

....

2004-08-17T12:21:00.000-07:00

well pretty much got through taking a DRUG TEST for the new job that is going to hire me and now i am waiting for the store director to call me back and tell me if i can start working of course. but other then that everything has been fine...and i mean i haven't been doing and skins lately...i've been pretty much laid back for some reason...hrrmmm...oh welll....til laters..

man...i swear..

2004-08-13T23:06:00.000-07:00

dude this is like the first outmost serious relationship i've ever been in my life. I mean me and Marcus was just having like a deep argument a little while ago about me hanging out with guys. And I started getting mad because he knows that I don't have a lot of friends out here since I just moved here from Hawaii. So, basically we were having a really deep but naked conversation about what we both wanted and what we both don't like our bf/gf doing in a relationship. Boy, things get really complicated. I swear, but like the way Marcus looks at it, is that we are going to be together forever. And Idk cause I am still young, and I mean hella young (try like 17). But, I told him there is going to be times where I want to do things and you aren't going to like it. And he is like I understand cuz you still have a lot more road to cover then me. So I was like okay.

but other then that, I went to my new job to finish up the paperwork, and then there was just one problem. I couldn't finish it up due to the point that my dad needed to sign the release forms for the drug test..errrr....boy that sucks....so i probably will be starting work on wedensday...

man i think imma put my Ashanti layout on here cuz this one getting boring of course

okay feeling

2004-08-10T17:09:00.000-07:00

Things has been going good....man i swear i be making layouts like everyday or something i mean eversince i hardly work now...thats all i've been doin...well i've been trying to reach my friend so i can give him the tyrese layout abd stuff so he can use it...but since the time difference i haven't been able to talk to him of course. But, everything with Marcus has been great....i mean the sex, love, hanging out...haha it is all good...i mean i don't have any complains about him at all...but, man this hecka sucks cuz i wanted to get my clartin stuff for my nasal stuff but since i have completely no money....i can't even get it....but um other than that i created my lastest layout which features Jaheim click here for my old time friend cuz she just started using xanga.com and she wanted her page to look all tight so basically she asked me if i could make her a layout...so, i did...haha...but until laters...got to finish working on my Carl Thomas layout..

starting to feel somthing new

2004-08-04T16:26:00.000-07:00

Eversince I've been hanging out with Marcus it's been a very different thing. I mean he is really nice type of guy and stuff...and things between us has been great....very great....and it's like he isn't the type of guy where he always wants it from his gf. I mean even though he doesn't like shopping or anything he is still a very cool bf. Pretty much I said forget the other guy in virginia because for one he doesn't even respect me at all. But, when he comes down here imma tell him to bring the car that he got for me and stuff. Something in the back of my mind tells me that he isn't what he seems. So, imma just keep going out with this long distance thing and just see what happens...but i am going to school in spring so i guess it is okay....haha til next time

ok me guess

2004-07-27T11:25:00.000-07:00

Well, everything is pretty much fine and stuff. I mean me and Jay are still together and still going on strong after like 3 months. WOW!!! HAHA!!! I've known him for so long.

Okay feelin

2004-07-02T10:14:00.000-07:00

Things have been a lot better then the last entry. I mean pretty much me and my boyfriend had a very long talk about what he plans to do about his child that is on the way and also what he plans to do between me and him pretty much. But, after I told him about the whole thing with me not going to college, he was pretty much mad as I could guess. And then he could understand the way I was feeling about the whole college thing. So, pretty much when it comes down to September and stuff he is going to drive down here and pick me up and then drive back home to virginia. And boy that will take us 1-2 days to get backto virginia from california. IDK where I am going to celebrate my 18th birthday at, but I can grantee you this that I probably won't celebrate it with my dad them since pretty much everything has gone so wrong. I'll probably celebrate my 18th birthday with my bf up in virginia, and get on with me life as pretty much having a fucked up family.

But, the one person I so want to talk to in my life is my mom. I haven't spoke to her in about 5 years now, and she still can't recognize me as her daugther. As everytime I call all she does is not answer the phone and at like she is busy which she isn't. Why does life have to be like this?? The only person that has been almost through it all with me is my bf Jay. Basically I've known Jay for like 6 years but we were an off and on type of couple. But, now we are together and I plan on keeping it that way. So, basically the things that I am feeling right, I have to wash it away and look at the better side of things in my life. A lot of people told me that I should leave Jay because he has a child on the way. And then when I was telling Jay that he was like so you're going to leave me now?? Then I said no no....I am not going to leave you. I love you Jay and only you. So, pretty much Imma stay with Jay and live my life being with him.

Also I found out some new things right now and that is pretty much my dad is getting married next saturday is basically I'm going to have to request off and what not. Well, after typing out my feelings a lot of things are not relax with me now. Much better feeling that I have.

bad things

2004-07-01T12:07:00.000-07:00

Man....I mean so much bad things has happen I mean my boyfriend and his ex is going to have a baby together. And then I am not going to college due to my dad having to use his money on other things. Like his wife...man I am moving to virginia when I turn 18 and that is a grantee one.